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  • Every Book I Have Read in 2025

    Looking back on 2025 personally, was an amazing year of setting and accomplishing personal goals. Regardless of the other circumstances of what the year brought, I always want to appreciate growth whenever it happens. One of those personal goals that I had going into this year was a continuation of a prior year’s goal of reading 15 books. In January of 2025, I set the goal to be 25 books as an increment from the prior year’s goal. I ended the year over that goal with 30 books finished, either listened to in audio format or read physically. I am proud of this and hope to continue this tradition into the new year, as I believe the ideas and questions each story brings with it, whether it be fiction or nonfiction changes me and how I perceive what’s around me.

    So in reflection for last year, I want to write down the list I have completed and accompany it with the thoughts I had post mortem. They will not be rated on any scale, and all opinions are my own. My hope in writing this would be to spark a conversation about literature and maybe share some new things you can read or new thoughts to include in their head.

    Enjoy.

    1.Dune Messiah- Frank Herbert

    Dune Messiah was one of the first books I read this year, and it focused a lot on demystifying Paul’s journey from the prior book, his rise to become Emperor, his Jihad in his name, and also his family, Chani, and his Sister Alyiah, being two major focuses of the story. I enjoyed the book’s stark departure from the hero’s journey the first book had, while also deconstructing the cult of personality, while deepening the universe of Dune. Personally, I can’t wait for the film adaptation.

    2.A Swim in a Pond in the Rain- George Saunders

    This book’s premise was to bring a college russian literature class to the everyday reader. The Structure of the book had you reading a short story by a famous russian author like Chekhov, Tolstoy, and the like, then the book dissects the piece and discusses what is so great about it to the academic’s eyes. Its a fantastic reference for a creative and someone who wants to write a story and who needs more tools in their belt to keep a reader engaged. I found after reading it I could pick out symbolism, set-up,s and how a good story subverts your expectations as much as meets them.

    3.The Silent Patient-Alex Michaelides

    This story was recommended to me for its mystery, and I can say that it delivers. A murder mystery with a twist and an interesting main character who brings you along for the ride.

    4.I Who Have Never Known Men- Jacqueline Harpman

    This was another recommendation from a friend, and what stuck out to me was its desolation. It was written parallel to the holocaust but also held a strong theme of legacy and the power of community and what to do under the crushing weight of time. The ending especially stuck with me, not looking to solve the world’s mysteries but to have you make peace with being within it. The story in the end makes you appreciate the company of friends and the beautiful, fleeting moment which they grace our lives.

    5. The Haar- David Sodergren

    I already wrote about The Haar in another post, and what I say there still stands. If you are looking for a horror novel in which you root for the monster, this is the book for you.

    6.The Poppy War- R.F Kuang

    This book was another recommendation, and I had the pleasure of reading it alongside someone, which elevated the experience for me as we both shared our thoughts and how we thought the story would end. The shared experiences were helpful to motivate me to finish this quite lengthy story in a quick cadence. I sadly didn’t continue the series after this book,k but I do want to know what happens to Rin. I enjoyed the thoughts on war and how strategy mixes with the physical reality of the people who are sacrificed for the end goals of a society. The horrors of what is done in the name of ideas and how you are shaped by the ordeal. Highly Recommend.

    7.The Wager-David Grann

    The Wager was a nonfiction story focusing on an infamous British shipwreck in the 18th century along the coast of Patagonia on what is now Cheaps Island. The book has an amazing ability to condense the situations surrounding the disaster and also give you multiple perspectives of the crew based on the notes and reports they wrote after and during the marooning. Great if you are interested in old sailors’ tales.

    8.Monstrillio- Gerardo Samano Cordova

    Monstrillio is a story that grew on me the more I reflected on it. Originally, I assumed it was a saforic story about a monster. Upon thinking about it again recently, I began to see the deeper message about love and what I took as neurodivergence. Learning how someone who loves another so deeply but also can’t help but hurt them in the end was a powerful and tragic thing to witness. Finding a way to overcome the monster inside was difficult for monstrillio and how can one go against one’s nature or brain, pushing him subconsciously into the voracious habit. I would recommend it, but I will give caution that some of its themes are hard to read.

    9.Entangled Life-Merlin Sheldrake

    The Entangled Life was one of the best nonfiction books I read all year. It made me look at fungus in a new way and also made me annoy my friends with plenty of fungus facts. It opened my brain to be more perceptive to the ecosystem and how it fungus is the living gel that keeps Mother Nature talking to itself.

    10.Station Eleven- Emily St. John Mandel

    Station Eleven was a post-apocalyptic read whose focus on many characters made it a joy to experience. I wrote more about it in another post.

    11.The Hellbound Heart- Clive Barker

    My first time going into the Hellraiser series and reading the book definitely made me as disgusted as the movie would have. Had great themes on nihilism, masochism, and horror that disturbed me. Great short book for classic horror fans.

    12.Blindsight- Peter Watts

    Blindsight was incredible. It was the best Sci-fi book I had read this year, but that doesn’t mean that it was easy. It talks about a lot of real-life science as its basis to explain the world and Rorchach and it means I had to look up a lot of words and concepts so that I could properly understand. It made me look up and watch Peter Watts ‘ lectures and also made me want to read the sequel. The most horrifying thing it taught me was a neurological understanding, which makes the title of the book make sense, and also changed how I view humanity.

    13.Ultra 85- Logic

    Yes, Logic has written some books. I admire it for being a complete story and for someone branching out of creative fields. I didn’t like the book, though. I think its themes on escapism and the future of elitism were understated, but I disliked the character writing, which all felt like Logic in different wigs.

    14.The Metamorphosis- Franz Kafka

    The Metamorphosis was a short story some people said they read in highschool which I decided to read on that notion. I found it interesting how it handled the change and the tragedy that befalls the main character.

    15.The Pine Barrens- John Mcphee

    The Pine Barrens was an anthropological piece that focused on the deep, shrouded woodlands in the middle of New Jersey. The people who live there are its history and its ecology. It was interesting to understand the history of some place I wouldn’t have chosen as my ideal field of study.

    16.Earth Abides- George R Stewart

    Earth Abides talks about the apocalypse and was written years before it became such a common topic to write about. Some parts were clearly outdated from the 50s, but others stuck with its understanding of how the world would change without society and how the torch of knowledge be passed in a world which no longer rewards the intellectually curious.

    17.Martyr- Kaveh Akbar

    I read this book in a day. It had so much personality and emotion and felt so real. Made me reflect on my experiences and think about the idea of martyrdom. Big Recommendation from me.

    18.Cuba Libre-Elmore Leonard

    I wrote about Cuba Libre already so you can read it in that post.

    19.Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas -Hunter S Thompson

    I became obsessed with this book after reading it, and also went down a rabbit hole of learning about its author. It spoke on trying to get understanding in the modern world, and its real-life account of Vegas and the absurdity which followed its unreliable but real narrator made it such a unique read. Can enlightenment be found in every drug imaginable, or are we deluding ourselves?

    20.Ancient Mesopotaomia

    This book surprisingly had no author attributed to it and basically talked about the history of the Fertile Crescent from ancient Sumer to Babylon and how the people in the earliest parts of civilization made their way.

    21.The Lost City of Z- David Grann

    I wrote about this book in another post. Great Nonfiction account of the danger of obsession.

    22.Anthem-Ayn Rand

    I wrote about this book in another post. Need to read more of Ayn Rand’s work.

    23.Chaos Making of a New Science -James Gleick

    The book that made the field of Chaos Theory popular. I read which discussed the universal laws of Chaos in our universe and how it was discovered and how it is literally everywhere. From convection to weather to fractals, I learned about the repeating patterns of nature and how harmony is such a careful balance.

    24.Name of the Rose-Umberto Eco

    Such an Amazing story. Finishing it made me immediately order more of Umberto Eco’s books, as I love his prose and how he writes and thinks. A murder mystery in a 16th century monistary, which you learn about God, Faith, life as a monk, and the pursuit of an ideal. I wish I could experience this story again.

    25.Candide-Volatire

    Candide was my first real book on Philosophy. It asked the question of how one can be good in a world so cruel. I enjoyed it and its ending, especially.

    26.The Art Thief- Micheal Finkel

    The Art Thief is a true story about a guy who stole about 2 billion dollars of art with his girlfriend, all in the 1990s. He kept it all in his attic, and his story is a wild one on the basis of obsession.

    27.Plato’s Republic- Platon

    Probably the most influential book written in the last two thousand years. It ponders the concept of justice and society, and how one creates the need for justice and for people to follow and believe in its tenets. It had so many ideals and a lot of good questions that I want to read it a second time. Socrates really is one of the best philosophers.

    28.Love Triangle- Matt Parker

    Any book that had me relearning my high school trig and soh cah toa deserves a medal, and the love triangle had me writing equations to solve and thinking about ray tracing.

    29.The Left Hand of Darkness -Ursula K LeGuin

    I read this book right before Pluribus came out, and seeing Carol reading it in the show makes me think I need to look deeper into the story. I enjoyed it for its portrait of a sexless society where gender is truly fluid. What really changes and what stays the same with humans when the roles are less defined

    30.The Road-Cormac McCarthy

    The last book I read this year, which was an apocalypic depressing story about survival and finding the will to continue on in a world that beats you down at every moment. How does someone carry that torch? It also discusses a lot about fatherhood and the role of the parent.

    This concludes the thirty books I read this year. I hope to write about this again next year with another thirty, as I already have a pile next to my desk which needs attending to. I hope to hear from people on what they read this year and discuss what stuck with them. Happy New Year and onto 2026.

  • Anthem by Ayn Rand and Chaos

    Anthem was a short book I read in-between my reading of Chaos and I think it was a perfect little collection of ideas. My only introduction to Ayn Rand was through other media which did the inverse thing this book did but paint a Free Market Capitalist paradise in the example of Bioshock. That society was summed up in a single phrase by the in universe Howard Hughes like character Andrew Ryan who stated that in Rapture every man was entitled to the sweat of his own brow. In basic terms Ryan’s society was one who embraced Individualist views on labor and self determination a stance which Anthem takes in its dystopian society which embraces to the fullest extend collectivism. Individualisms main memes are always about the fulfillment of the self a phrase which is usually used in a lot of spiritual contexts but still holds the best meaning to me personally when Rand discusses its as the way to appease a hungry and creative mind.

    I always have felt that pull of creation or creativity in a lot that I attempt to do or learn but a question which always comes to the back of my mind probably due to the American lifestyle i was born into was the function of what I make. In American society everything must serve a purpose or make money, if it is produced for your own self then it is considered selfish which is a terrible thing since this rejects the good goal of easing the pain of your fellow man by buying selling and distributing the blood flow of cash throughout the economy. This I think is question many people come to as well but take it as an impenetrable dam which reinforces their creative urges and ability to satisfy them in a meaningful way. With a lack of tangible business plan in order to follow through with an idea to generate wealth to either keep you or your family alive what role does this project really serve other than to waste time? You can go even beyond just my framing of this question in regards to creativity as education and the collection of knowledge just for one persons own self fulfillment to for instance know all the names and songs of the birds can be viewed as a reckless waste of time as unless you are a birdwatcher or park ranger you have no function to satisfy this dream.

    This is where Anthem’s story takes off as the main character who is born in a vat without even the ownership of a name rather he receives a number emphasizing the loss of all basic human holdings of personal ownership. Funnily enough it is an original right which founded the country of the United States which focuses on giving all men and woman in broad terms the freedom of ones body and to pursue ones happiness. A lofty utopian goal but one which always made the story of the founding fathers so tantalizing and heroic against the backdrop of a country of immigrants looking to secure said happiness. Obviously in reality this became a hard practice as the wills of others who’s lives are dependent on keeping people in chains as they meet material needs which in some convoluted or sometimes straight forward method resolve in them receiving more power over others. Equality 7-2521 as he is so called is born into a world which has become a luddite, a world which sees the goal of every man to be to ease the burden of its fellow man. From that phrase you would think the place would be a utopia, land without greed or famine or any sort of class struggle. This is however proven to be false as the hollowness of the life lived is what’s really put on display.

    This society which operates under simple machine law torchlight and relies on ancient ways of manual labor of people who toil away at physical work. This creates a fallacy you think any sort of invention would fall under the prime directive of the society of anthem to be a collective and work to help your fellow man. The problem being is that the idea of creation is always done by an inventor like an Einstein or Graham Bell someone who under the urge that the way things are could be better takes it upon themselves to rise above their station to change reality. The world of anthem rejects learning and asking questions. Everyone is born to fill a role dictated by the state and then carry out that role until death. It replaces human freedom of choice with a certainty of empty purpose. Rand however doesn’t seek to demonize the masses for following said route as you may know people also in your lives who only seek to make it paycheck to paycheck. There is a simplicity and a happiness to be found in making no attempt to understand your surroundings. A mind which questions is a mind who always will learn to be disappointed by the answers it finds or even never finds as science which many people today may consider a religion has made it abundantly clear time and time again that it only at the end produces more questions. You may learn something profoundly which inspires you but that comes from pain and hardship and above all else anxiety. Anxiety which comes from another universal fact that we live in a universe of complex systems which work in ways which can be perceived by us as Chaos.

    There is too much data too much going on for people to be able to parse it and come to a conclusion which fits nicely in the human brain. There will never be that answers in my lifetime that can be sure. Regardless one must keep pushing on to ask these questions anyway. To be one to seek knowledge and truth like Equality 7-2521’s discovery of the lightbulb shows how there is understanding to be found and there is a way to satisfy ones soul by completing the work. The work will always be hard and beat at your brain and body but the ending is always worth it and you can feel like our ancient ancestors did when Prometheus discovered fire ushering out darkness and chaos and bringing the world into the light.

    The story Anthem is old and the story of Prometheus which itself is one of the oldest Greek tales which has passed down each generation but its an important one to remember as questioning what else can be in this world is also allowing for you to imprint yourself upon the pages of time. Its a call for people to instead of accepting what they see but to question in in every measure and also accept the merits of selfishness which are good. The fulfillment of the soul comes from a selfish vision to do something and it is a betrayal of your human instincts and capability to do greatness not to follow it at least once in your life.

    This is what Anthem leaves me with, more questions but also the wiliness to embrace the chaos to find its origin. Knowing its okay to be selfish for the purpose of themselves as a completely selfless person would never himself discover fire or even discover self.

  • The Haar by David Sodergren

    The Haar was the first book I read coming into the new year. It was an indie horror title that I heard about from some online circle I was a part of. What struck me first was the cover done by artist Trevor Henderson. It evoked the dark, horrible theme so well, with the harsh reds suggesting danger and panic, but the deep blue of the single eye helps to soften the creature into something both beautiful and curious.

    This cover more than anything helped to match the book’s quality of writing by following the common trope of a terrible monster who holds a soft spot for the less fortunate of society. People who have been left behind or who are no longer in their prime are unable to stand up for themselves. This leads into the discussion of our main character Muriel, who is an elderly woman in Scotland. She has a kind heart and has lived a long, healthy, fortunate life in a secluded home down by the bay. She used to live with her late husband Billy, who disappeared one day on a fishing trip and never returned.

    This is where Muriel’s woes arise as she has felt empty since her husband’s passing, and even her grandkids do not fill that void in her heart, no matter how much she cherishes them.

    The conflict arises when a wealthy American billionaire begins to forcefully remove they members of the small rural Irish town either through buying them off or using shadier methods to obtain their land rights to build a golf course. This is where the dicotomy of old versus new is found as instead of getting to live out her days in peace Muriel is harassed phyically harmed and has her life threatened by Grant and his croneys.

    In most horror stories you always root for the victims as it is a human trait to empathize with someone else’s suffering. The twist with the Haar is that the monsters are human and follow on a trend of billionaire rage which, as a human who sees the news and witnesses the death of the planet expedited by greed, it’s cathartic to watch as someone’s best laid plans fail to come to fruition. Most people who don’t have much to their name or have less than sheer wealth will hold resentment towards a person whose greed seeps beyond the barriers of their world and into their everyday life. It feels like an invasion where one is unprepared, with no weapons and munitions, as cash is the only metric with which someone can stop this level of change.

    The Haar is cathartic by bringing in a supernatural deep-sea creature who is unkillable and able to take the form of any person in order to prevent this change from affecting this helpless old woman who only wants to keep what happiness she has had. It is more akin to a fantasy of staying the tide of change as even the Haar helps to fix Muriel’s broken heart by imitating her late husband Billy, basically reversing the change which had made her elder years so hollow.

    In regards to the writing of the story the prose is what makes it stands still as the writing of the brutal dismemberments of all those ill people who harm Muriel and the wonderful descriptions of the landscape and ite fleeting beauty is what I remember most reading the story. It was wonderfully written and reading about how the authors dedication of the book to his grandmother who Muriel was based off of was touching and sweet. It feels like a human story who is focused on someone who loves the now and wants to see a world where we hold on a bit longer to those we love.

  • Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandell

    Spoilers ahead

    Station Eleven was under a curious string of books I purchases subconsciously and read in a row which focused on the nature of a large scale pandemic and how would a human society collapse or rebuild itself in the wake of a breakdown of all the roadways of trade. In complete contrast to Earth Abides which took the ideas of looking at the apocalypse as an anthropological study of the nature and generic direction post apocalypse culture will take. Station Eleven focuses more on the strange interconnectivity of people and ideas throughout ages. The apocalypse becomes less of a core idea to experiment around with but more like a mere survival setting in which these characters are linked together.

    The initial linking event for both the start of the apocalypse and the thread which brings all the characters together was the tragic death of actor Arthur Leander who passed from a heart attack on stage performing King Lear. Arthur is a key character in the whole story but mostly wasn’t spoken for instead of a few key chapters where we finally got to see in his mind. Instead the story follows the people Arthur surrounds himself with that being Kristen Raymonde who being a child actor at the exact show Arthur passed at decided to continue her passion beyond the fall of the modern world where performance is strictly only entertainment and escapism. Kristen was inspired by Arthur from that moment onward as she had committed her life to continue the craft he died doing and also joining the traveling symphony a group of actors and musicians who use their shared passion as glue to become a community seeking to help other communities.

    The story also follows Miranda Carrol who created the Station Eleven comic and was one of Arthurs many ex-wives. Miranda who may not have been someone who survived the apocalypse but still ended up influencing people beyond her years by her creation of a fictional comic which never saw mass production but did end up in the hands of children who took care of it and preserved it through the years.

    This point is also echoed by the antagonist the prophet is introduced. His inclusion shows specifically how the influence of the old world comes in with a piece of text which has influenced all of western life since its creation; The Bible. More specifically the Book of Revelations with its musings of an apocalypse and the ideas of a savor who can sweep the land under divine right of god to punish sinners and be self righteous in that conquest of perceived evil. This prophet sees himself as that figure and finds it as proof for his survival and his continued purpose. In contrast to Kristen who saw her purpose being only to touch others lives with song not curing the pain but granting escape from them, the prophet sees himself under the savior complex. Someone who must take others fully until his care either willingly through sermon or by force using lost people as pawns to perpetuate a cycle of oppression.

    The town of St Deborah by the Water was the victim of this as the prophet entered and began to change the structure of how the people think. It wasn’t a survivor mentality anymore but one of giving his own perceived purpose onto them by converting members to his band and taking wives to foster children.

    So from all this it seems like the goal the novel tries to relay is the power of the arts and literature in its ability to bridge gaps between people and in time as the people who 20 years alter survived the apocalypse are still moved by plays and books they read earlier in their life. Most of the creators of the works are all dead but the ideas and the passion and human effort lives on continuing to shape the world even when the physical beings have left like Jesus in the bible. From this it seems written work is still the only way to become immortal in the minds of other like Arthur, Miranda and John. There is still one character left to talk about however which I think holds the strongest message.

    Jeevan Chaudhary was a paramedic in training during the production where Arthur died. He was seen rushing onto stage when it was clear Arthur was in trouble. It was through this act of kindness and care for his fellow man that I think stuck the hardest. It not only influenced Kristen with her kind nature but also influenced Jeevan himself who at that moment of time was having a crisis of purpose which most people have from time to time. His selfless care of a fellow man in trouble helped to shape the future even if it was only recorded by the last newspapers in print before the electric lights went out.

    This book tells of the power of action and the overwhelming inspiring nature that kindness has to inspire more kindness. All history has the power to change the future that’s what draws me to Sci-Fi itself because good Sci-fi can break that mold and shift the future even as a work of fiction or maybe even a comic book. Its also good to touch others lives with small acts rather than to consume them in your own self purpose. A traveling symphony will be longer remembered fondly than any act of hate.

  • Earth Abides by George R. Stewart

    Spoilers ahead

    Reading Earth Abides was a fascinating book as at its time it was one of the first novels to discuss as a scientific test what if the world had undergone an horrific pandemic which wiped out all of humanity? Science Fiction at the time it was written but post Covid it definitely follows science fictions ability to first imagine the future and in strange cases manifest it. It makes the act of reading the story less like taking in a piece of fiction which you can disregard and more like an anthropologists catalog of what the world will be like with man gone. Where will all the farm animals go? Where will all the pets? What creatures will be brought back from extinction and what will be brought back to it because man is no longer there to take care of them?

    Earth Abides is really three different stories in one as it starts with World Without End then goes into The Year 22 and finally concludes with The Last American.

    First is the World Without End which focuses on introducing both the main character of the book Isherwood Williams who a recluse and a naturalist is bitten by a snake and misses the downfall of civilization. The united states is disbanded and its people disappear into history. A fasting moving fast acting human focused disease has taken man down a peg. The author explains the hypothesis of why this happens by using a repeated pattern seen in history of nature balancing itself out by the use of pandemic. It’s seen in the locusts who after a massive population boom which rendered many other species under danger they soon underwent a mysterious disappearance and returned to reasonable numbers.

    This being the thought experiment which ended the world. George Stewart uses this as a method to take you on a scientific journey of the country as Isherwood who a sees nothing better to do then become a recorder to the downfall of man sets off on a nationwide journey growing from California to New York and back seeing each region its animals and its remaining people and cataloguing how they survive or if they are fit for long term survival.

    This is where the book gets interesting as Ish could have just been a vehicle for Stewart to talk about his predictions but he also brings a bit of Ish’s intellectual bigotry and makes it known that it’s only just a prediction not an exact science. Some creature like the sheep may continue to survive despite the farmer being there to protect them from wolves. Nothing is determined and that is seen when Ish discusses the rare people he meets on his journey. He meets some rural people in Georgia which are deemed to survive since life has not changed much but then contrasts that with Long Islanders who can survive for a bit in the greatest city of the world with all the food and amenities they can have but will probably be stuck as a relic to the times which people live in agrarian societies.

    This leads to Year 22 as this is when Ish meets Emma and begins to start his family and his attempt to rebuild society. Because of a lack of dates they carve time in a rock and have 22 years go by as the community around his old parents house begins to grow in size due to Ish and Emma’s children and other survivors joining along. Year 22 picks up as the year Ish wants to rebuild the United States in no short terms. He sees the pattern of people still living of the old society using the running water system and canned foods as an example and deems this to be a dead end for humanity which is surely approaching. The means to recreate these commodities are arcane knowledge by this time after the apocalypse and without proper intellectual care they will fade into history.

    Ish tries to find someone else like him in the group and lands on his joint son Joey being the one deemed to continue the teaching of reading writing and all those humanities which lifted nations before. It’s only when tragedy strikes and Joey cannot continue the line does he fall into despair.

    Ish is a flawed person and I think that was a great choice for the story as we see him become the last American being old and frail and seeing the group become more and more foreign to him as the people in his life die and forget the past and what America used to be and all this does it make him retreat inward. He is still overwhelmed by the task to continue the world which made trains and cars but still can’t help but only reminisce rather than take active steps to make it happen himself.

    It’s seen as a good observation that most people will just continue their lives to survive the day to day but it takes someone who. Is compulsive an a worrier to be someone who plans for the future. Historically humanity have not been good long term planners and it usually takes people a tragedy or loss of life for them to make a preventive change.

    This is what I found when reading Earth Abides. The thinking about the world and how we have shaped it away from natures grasp but never out of its reach. I found that it’s hard to be someone who plans ahead but through the thoughts and frustrations of Isherwood Williams you wanna become that person who eases suffering and shepherds nations. Being a host to the Library of Alexandria is hard when you have to rush into the burning building but either way if society collapses people will get along fine without it but probably there will be less of them.

  • The Lost City of Z By David Grann

    The Lost City of Z is the second book by David Grann I read this year as the first being The Wager. In contrast with that novel I found this one to be way more personal compared to The Wager as Grann activity in the book is discussed as the lengths he goes through to uncover the true fate of British Colonel Percy Fawcett in the Amazon means he has to track down relatives, find true sources and lastly in a daring choice make the journey down to one of the last and most dangerous parts of the world the Amazon.

    This books center theme is obsession as it is says in the subtitle and I wanna give a couple examples of that which was show in its telling. The obsessive nature of Fawcett takes center stage as the man who is a know member of the world exploring map filling Royal Geographical Society is clearly in the company of people who’s obsessive and many times suicidal compulsion is to become infamous by the charting of lines on a page. It’s this same society which launched Darwinism and expeditions to Sri Lanka and both Arctic Poles. This culture of obsession is really what’s on display there and by focusing on one of its most tragic stories does Grann make this whole period easy to digest.

    Colonel Fawcett was an extraordinary figure as had explored some of the harshest climates in the world which is known to bite chew and suck the literal blood from its invaders and yet every time there is an expedition Fawcett comes out mostly unscathed. Each member who goes with him however isn’t always lucky as his obsessive search for Z has created an aroma of mystery of the ancient world which I think has in part been the origin for so many adventure stories the public has crafted into fiction in the later years.

    For many years after his disappearance in May of 1925 in the Amazon with his son Jack and his son’s friend Raleigh people still were drawn to this particular part of the Mato Grosso reign of Brazil. Hundreds of wannabe explorers have been drawn to the fabricated mystery of El Dorado which the Spanish Conquistadors first heard tell of by the local tribes which they subject-gated. The original story passed down by these enterprising treasure hunters talk about it being made of gold since the whole region controlled by the Maya and Aztec nations had an abundance of it. It’s this plausible circumstance which brings so many down to the most brutal and unconquered part of the world.

    The truth is that there definitely was an ancient city in the Amazon as the left over pottery found and the man made canals, tunnels and foundations can be found by the indentations of the land itself. The tribes which still live in that area also hold traditions which most likely stem from the collapse of that civilization. The problem has always been the perception of glory. The idea that the lost civilization who was in the jungle wasn’t direct a part of it and congealed with its every aspect. This matches the current theory that Z or El Dorado was made of natural materials like wood and mud which are in abundance but also decompose fast and leave little trace.

    Understanding this piece at the end is what makes the whole thing confusingly tragic as the understanding of today’s archeological discovery’s of the Amazon wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for these explorers who have died being bleed by mosquitos and starving in a place which survival is an everyday struggle. You think that common sense would win out with these explorers who make in into the jungle but every time they go in and the rational ones break quick but still it’s not enough time to make a change to guarantee one’s life.

    The mystery in the end prevails still as Fawcett body was never recovered and only the verbal story from the local tribes whose grandparents are said to have encountered them remains.

    The City of Z in the end makes me think about the nature of obsession like a whirlpool. It’s always focused around a massive ego in this case Fawcett’s and it always brings whoever is caught in the current down to them like it did with the author who himself after researching and obsessing about the topic went to the Amazon to find his answers. When you’re in said whirlpool only luck and good nature may ensure that you make it out. But at least it makes for an engaging story which has inspired the modern adventure tale and has the same DNA which keeps these thrilling dreams of the unknown like Indiana Jones or Kong Skull Island so engaging to see to its completion

    Pen Drawing which I think fits the jungle vibe

  • Cuba Libre by Elmore Leonard

    This review will contain spoilers because I do not know how else to discuss it without these details.

    Cuba Libre was novel which had me hooked from the back cover description. A historical fiction crime thriller set in a tremulous time in history but not one commonly covered by most media like WW2 or other such conflicts. It centers around the Cuban War of Independence during 1895 and 1898 which many of the immigrants who were originally slaves brought in from Africa and other nations which participated in the trade would be freed during the years following the American civil war but still be sharecroppers caught under the boot of private industry and the Spanish special police force the Guardias.

    The story goes into detail about the state of the Cuban people during this time which its drawing from real world events and motivations helped to deepen the characters connection to the world. Especially this can be seen by the side character who I found the most enjoyable and the core for the story Victor Fuentes who lived a double life working for a sugar plantation as a servant to an American Businessman but also being a key piece in helping the Liberates gather firearms and supplies for their liberation effort for their new homeland.

    This is originally the character we are introduced into the story with as that person was Ben Tyler, horse rancher and reformed bank robber who always wants to get what he is owed. This being evident by the original reason for him being brand a criminal was how a wealthy entrepreneur had shorted him his due cash for running ponies so he and a Native American cohort he found himself with made off on a series of robberies getting their dues and remarking how easy it is to get away with them.

    This leads to Ben being a prime pick for his friend Charlie Burkes scheme to run guns to the Cuban liberates under the guise of trading pony’s to a local American Businessman. Through encountering this rich man does Ben Tyler meet Amelia Brown a girl from New Orleans who is looking for an escape and excitement which she sees in the cowboy.

    This setting is what I really enjoy about Cuba Libre it’s incredible connection to history and its willingness to identify the reasons why bigger forces within the country either want the liberation to go through or will be unaffected by its passing. The entire plot is so well crafted around the bigger events that each of the characters are pulled naturally around in response to them. For instance the reason why American is seen to enter the Cuban War for Independence was originally through to be the destruction of the USS Maine but its was more clearly placed there to be a plausible tragedy to help America bring in the Army to protect the many American businesses which make big profits off of Cuba.

    These kinda bigger realizations help to make the story so engaging when I found the American characters to not have the same revolutionary call to action as the locals. Which I do think is apt since if you were a foreign. National in a country which is about to go through massive societal change you would wanna get yours and get out. Especially if they could ransom some money from the rich which Amelia Brown with Ben Tyler has planned to commit against her rich lover. This plot takes the later half of the book as it deals with the revolution, the guardians, and the American nationals all having reasons to get the ransom money and to double cross if need be. One really special scene being a train heist where the exchange takes place being full of tension and western gunslinger flaire which is a style that engaged me all the way through.

    The care the author takes to make sure each characters opinions directly affects the setting they are in helps to hold the attention as a scene in a Spanish prison also follows well the scenes with the discussions about how trapped the characters feel within their situation. Seeing the inevitable war coming and looking for a way to escape the noose.

    I will lastly talk about the Guardia Captain Tavalera which is seen as the direct villain in the story. He is posed as competent capable and menacing as a leader to a revolution busting imperialist has to be and the brutality of what he does to people who cross him or the country of Spain is shocking. He stuck out in the end as a tragic character who in the beginning saw the end of his story as he felt the urge to flee the coming battle against the United States but still had chosen to stay in which he believed that if he survived that chosen doom he may finally be at peace to got after the ransom money which he could use to escape with the ones he loves. He does meet that bitter end but the trope of a man realizing he’s on the wrong side of history and trying to escape helps to humanize him especially when he comes to terms with his mortality.

    Isn’t everyone looking for an escape? Cuba Libre seems to think so the novel I found has everyone all focused on the escape of something, that being the law, your current love, mortality or the chains of nationality which hold the people around you captive. Everyone wants out and the ransom money seems to be the way to accomplish that as what good is suffering if you can’t profit from it. I think this is what makes Cuba Libre so great to read it’s a conveyor belt leading to a cliff and you wanna see who gets off before it’s too late.

  • Beginnings

    Beginnings

    Hello Potential Readers

    Some may ask why make a website, why post about things when you could use social media or all these other platforms whose main goal is to connect people. Well, I am glad you asked, reader, out loud in the middle of the room where I assume you are while reading this. Personally I had a reverence to an old internet idea which people would create websites for their own personal purpose or as a form of expression. I think in the age of social media and restrictive algorithms made to be as obsessively addictive and time consuming there is a loss of that spirit. This is why I have pulled away from Meta owned platforms and wanna focus on my own garden of creativity. I think both the development of this website can achieve that by giving me a place to post my thoughts on media I love (specifically books and games), where I can show my art without the stress of worrying about chasing some magmatic idea which would get me likes or attentions. I will be also making prints for art on this page since the space feels more fitting. Lastly I have been working on a concept for a videogame and I think having a place to track and showcase the project when its farther along than just a design document and a dream would be preferable.

    Sometimes a guy just wants to express himself.

    I come up with three reasons about writing more are: 1. Personal practice, 2. A method to collect and clearly relay my thoughts about media I like, 3. Improve my memory through Post Mortem extrapolation. Back in school, I used to enjoy those group discussions in English class, specifically on literature and how it made us feel or changed the way we think. Everyone had a different opinion and something else that they brought with their own perception of the text. I won’t say I always felt this way, as some media I read in English class really didn’t speak to me (looking at you, Gatsby), and this did lead me to turn out some important lessons and stimulated the brain just right. I don’t think I am a great writer or anything and I think working a job where I only write in corporate speak really does take the fun an personality out of the way you write. I hope I can improve on that here. I also will do a sketch sometimes about the topic.

    Lastly I hope I can inspire you odd souls out there to do more with the tools you have. You been working all your life for goals which strictly follow the survival method of getting money or security or love. The world moves fast and if you don’t take a second to let your brain pass all that information it’ll just weigh you down. This is the meaning I put behind this website but to use a quote used by a man who spent an obsessive amount of time getting to level 99 in Final Fantasy 7’s opening act. “The act has no meaning but through the time spent I give it meaning”.

    Hope you enjoy reading, commenting and sharing in love for meaninglessness.

    Thank you for being here!